Sunday 21 February 2016

Valentine' s day? YES or NO!?

This year the Czech market had the biggest turnover of the Valentine day´s related goods ever
and 
as much as I would like to think ...
 We are not all of a sudden turning into romantic human being with the ability of communicating our feelings.
We just buy into the agenda of celebrating this day and "having to buy something because it´s the Valentine´s day and my significant other would be pissed if I would not bring home at least a box of chocolate".



To clarify - I am not a hater. 
I adore the reference to this day in Chaucer´s or Shakespeare´s work.
If you know me, you probably know very well that I am not against expressing romantic feelings either.

I just don´t think that we need a special day for that and especially in country where it´s history is just not relevant.

We don´t need this day set by someone and marketed widely in the media, do we? Moreover, if imported artificially to a place with a clear aim to manipulate and sell.
Why do so we happily and blindly agree on turning feelings into material stuff?

Time for confession - When I was a teenager (unable to fight the media around me massaging my mind and creating wants and needs for me), there was a silly little thought in me, badly wanting to be liked and to receive a Valentine' s card, preferably from someone who I liked.
Well, surprise surprise, that never ever happened.



I did receive a note once, with a name 'Tom' and a telephone number, saying 'call me'. 
Well, that screams "don´t do it", right? 
Ehmmm...being a curious teenager (yeah, let´s blame it on that) I called the number and a deep and possibly 70 year-old voice answered with saying "hallo, what is it?"
I hang up instantly, all embarassed.
But that fake valentine´s card and that one embarassing phone-call made me realise how stupid I was.

SO HERE IS A LITTLE LIST OF WHAT IS WRONG WITH CELEBRATING THIS DAY IN OUR SOCIETIES:

In a nutshell, Valentine´s day in a country where it has no historical roots creates:
- a confusion (among all age goups and sexes)
- fake expectations

Besides:
- if you are single, there is one more reminder of your sometimes involuntary single-self or even your loneliness
- if you are dating someone...you are not sure what the expectation of your partner is and for some couples it might be difficult to communicate it
- most of the windows in the shops are swamped with trashy decorations
- everyone is trying to earn on it as much as the can



It often reinforces stereotypes such as: 
- the expectation for a guy to bring the rose (why not try it the other way around for change)
- the expectation for a girl to cook the dinner
- most of the Valentine´s day ads are portraying heterosexual couples, very much excluding any other possibilities

In a way you are forced to be "romantic" as the shops mostly offer:
- junk food
- cheap alcohol  
- cliche presents

Valentine´s day and me?
As you might have guessed, I don´t celebrate it.
Honestly, the best Valentine´s day was 2 years ago in Scotland when me an Aussie girl Hazel and two American girls Rachel and Courtney cooked rizotto and baked apple & rhubard crumble and talked for a long time about gender equality and the impact of pornography on relationships.



This year´s Valentine´s?
I decided to make a dinner for my ex-classmates. We gossiped about people we know, ate dinner, drank champagne and played Cards Against Humanity, which I proudly won (because I probably own the mind with the most inappropriate thinking).



Oh and by the way? 
People please stop following what media sets as "romantic". There are plenty other things more romantic than a dinner with candles. So stop thinking it, just because you saw it in the latest rom-com. 
Discover for yourself.